Reallllly Bad Day :(

[Bonniesmummy]

One step forward.... 100 steps back

I really could cry, we seem to be making progress then BANG she snaps!! Ive had Bonnie with me everyday at school picking the kids up this week and she has MOSTLY been good as gold now I will admit that at times when she has barked at people its because I havent read the signs quick enough to stop her or havent seen the people coming towards us so again didnt see the signs.... also there are times when I see someone coming so I get anxious as I 'know' she is going to go off on one maybe she will maybe she wont so I guess I dont 'know' but hey ho I get myself ready for it anyway..... Telephone line straight to her picking up my anxitey (sp)!!!!

So today she is doing good, a few barks but thats mostly been my fault, I was very uptight today no reason really just anticipating her reaction so Im reacting 1st Anyway we pick my eldest up and go to the wee yins school to get him, she was being good and when the school comes out loads of kids are coming towards us... she is still being good, looking for my kids in the crowd. He gets to us and she does her usual saying hello and saying hello to my friends kids too.... a little girl is walking down with her mum and asks can she pet Bonnie so I say let her see you 1st as Bonnie hadnt seen her yet and didnt want Bonnie to get startled when she puts her hands on her..... so Bonnie see's her, has a sniff and all looks fine... tail wagging ears back etc she looks happy so I say ok to the wee girl. Bonnie lets her pet her for a wee bit and then BANG she snapped at her and barked like a loony!!!! I was sooo stunned I felt so bad for the wee girl, she was ok and Bonnie didnt bite but what if she did??? she so could have done and where would we be now?? I feel sick at the thought of it I said sorry and immediatly put Bonnie into the boot of the car!

I feel totally out of my league here! and have no idea what Im doing, should I muzzle her now for everyones saftey?? Ive tried all the suggestions from everyone, distracting her, trying to build positive experiences around people and it seemed to be working I feel like a terrible owner and I dont know why this has come to this.... I thought I socialised her well and cant pin point a specific incident that made her act like this!!! Apart from the chicken incident which made her hate the vet but she was already barky then, just not as bad!

The kids in my street havent helped as they have been caught in the act tormenting her so now she isnt allowed out the front garden and I have frosted glass stuff on my windows so she cant look directly out... she has to stand up on the leadge to look out and we just tell her 'off' when she does that.

Ive got myself in a state, im sooooo upset and Im feelng really sorry for myself. I love her so much and want to help her as she is obviously not secure and confident in herself. I know I need to calm down and I know that I need to NOT hold a grudge so am trying really hard to be normal but its so hard not to be upset and remember what she did today!

Sorry for the essay guys and thanks for taking the time to read this if you have gotten this far ok rant/moan/feel sorry for myself over

[Tedsmum]

Oh goodness how upsetting for you.
I don't know what to suggest to you as a solution but I do know that you should not be so hard on yourself about this. You have tried very hard to help Bonnie feel confident and happy around people and you should not feel you have failed when there are setbacks.
I would only say that after today, the use of a muzzle in public may take some of the stress out of socialising her in future and may mean that you are less likely to send anticipatory nerves down the lead because you know nothing terrible can happen.
The worst thing you can do is stop exposing her to these situations and you need to feel safe while you are outside school or in a croud.
I am sure others will give you more advice about how to combat the behaviour and help to make you feel a bit more positive about what to do now. x

[wildmoor]

You need to do things slowly untill she is more confident - flooding her will only make an insecure dog feel more vulnerable, and certainly do not let children she doesnt know stroke her untill she is 100%
I know with my dog that even if a child he didnt know ran upto him he wouldnt react but stand there wagging his tail it is not worth the risk of a child getting hurt whether physically or psychologically.
Are your children of an age where you can stand on the other side of the road? if not either leave her at home or in the car.

[Bonniesmummy]

Originally Posted by Tedsmum

Oh goodness how upsetting for you.
I don't know what to suggest to you as a solution but I do know that you should not be so hard on yourself about this. You have tried very hard to help Bonnie feel confident and happy around people and you should not feel you have failed when there are setbacks.
I would only say that after today, the use of a muzzle in public may take some of the stress out of socialising her in future and may mean that you are less likely to send anticipatory nerves down the lead because you know nothing terrible can happen.
The worst thing you can do is stop exposing her to these situations and you need to feel safe while you are outside school or in a croud.
I am sure others will give you more advice about how to combat the behaviour and help to make you feel a bit more positive about what to do now. x

Thanks Gill I cant help it, I feel rubbish and cant stop blooming crying now... tears are streaming as I type ...... oh here she comes to see whats wrong, she is looking at me like 'whys you face wet mum'

Using a muzzle was the last thing I wanted and makes me feel more of a failure as then everyone can see that I am too ..... god how petty does that sound!! I know I need to do it, I need to take action on this

I went to training class last night and I thought it was great so cant wait till next week and bonnie goes too but Im nervous now of how she will be in a room full of people and other dogs

[Bonniesmummy]

Originally Posted by wildmoor

You need to do things slowly untill she is more confident - flooding her will only make an insecure dog feel more vulnerable, and certainly do not let children she doesnt know stroke her untill she is 100%
I know with my dog that even if a child he didnt know ran upto him he wouldnt react but stand there wagging his tail it is not worth the risk of a child getting hurt whether physically or psychologically.
Are your children of an age where you can stand on the other side of the road? if not either leave her at home or in the car.

Thanks Pam My kids are 10 & 14 so yeah no probs with them getting to the car on their own, I thought I was doing a good thing by taking her so she gets more used to people etc.
I dont always take her with me to the school as normaly im working but I cut my hours at work so I come home at 1pm and then take her with me to get the kids, more so this week as she isnt out much due to her being spayed last week so her excercise has been restricted.

[Beki]

She sounds a bit like ellie, there is no horrible event that has knocked her and she was reasonably socialised (just late on as we didnt get her until 11ish weeks old) We use a muzzle with ellie, we really slowly introduced it and made it all possative and although she rolls around n smashes into the back of your legs trying to get it off she will happily have it put on, We now walk with it not on but with us just in case when around people at a happy distance but if i can see a situation she wll react to and it cant be avoided i put it on so she cant be accused of anything she isnt able to do with it on if you get me

Please dont beat urself up, i know easier said than done as i have been there lots of times! but with training it can be one step forward 3 back but you get there, look back at it and chalk it up to experience and learn from it is the best you can do xxx

[Beki]

i agree with pam you need to work at her pace and at distances she is happy with and slowly reduce the gaps flooding her will only make her more unsure xx

[Mazz]

This is just a blip, no-one was hurt, only your pride. Wipe your eyes sweetheart,she goes training soon, the best place to learn, they will help you and little girl. You'll get there, she's still a baby. Good luck.
Mazz

[sami]

Audrey dont forget shes still only a baby. Dont beat yourself up over it.

I personally dont think they are even any where near mature until at least 2 years so they are like kids they can be unpredictable.

Leo is the most placid dog in the world I am sure he would never bite a child but i still keep a good hold on him "just in case" My friends all think I am too over cautious but I always have it in mind that much as I love him he is still a dog and I can never know exactly what hes thinking.

I think Pams right you are perhaps expecting a bit too much for her to cope in such a hectic situation.

The street kids thing I can sympathise with. My Max was tormented terribly as a young dog when he was in the garden. He was a nervous dog anyway and ended up terrified of kids.

Dont give up, take it slowly, you have a lovely dog and will get her there in the end.

Tracy

[Bonniesmummy]

Thanks all, I really thought I was doing the right thing taking her with me so she gets used to people, I thought the more she is expossed to it the more she will settle...... this isnt the 1st time Ive taken her with me. She has been to the schools loads of times since she was a little pup as I didnt always work longer hours, Ive just gone back to the hours I used to work thats all so she hasnt been there very much over the past 4-5mths.

Ill be sure to take it slower from now on and am online looking for a muzzle to be safe, I would NEVER forgive myself if something happened.... because it would be MY fault as an owner not to have my dog under control!!!

Well Ive cleared my head and stopped blubbering!! lol and have a sort-of plan of action..... for a start I think we need to establish who is BOSS, I dont got for the whole pack leader thing BUT I do think she needs to firstly learn her place!!

I have a small, VERY SMALL room upstairs thats like a wee office but I dont use it except for junk so I have cleared it out, taken the door off the hinges and removed her bed from MY room into the now HER room. AND untill she learns her place she is not getting on the sofa either and some of the other small things that will let her know her 'place in the pack' too...... I think too often I treat her like a child and not a dog