Does She not Trust me?

[emmaj]

When we first had Jerry 2 years ago she was not used to being touched. It has taken us until now to get her to roll onto her back when fussing her. This seems like along time but from a dog that snapped if you went past her shoulders she has come along way.

One thing that worries me is that when my children or partner go over to fuss her she rolls over legs splayed for a tickle but when I approach her she just rolls on her back with her legs closed to the side: does this mean she doesn't trust me as much?

I am fully aware with two children that I raise my voice to get them motivated ie "time to get up x 10" "brush your teeth x 15" etc etc and I'm not sure if thats why she isn't as "open" to me. I have never raised my voice at her apart from once or twice after she had an operation and had to be cage rested for 6 weeks she started her compulsive spinning

I find it a bit upsetting sometimes that I was the one who desperately wanted to rescue her from the dogs home, feeds her walks her yet I am her last choice for cuddles

I know a close family friend of ours rescued and ex-puppy machine lab and she never took to my friend but loved her husband. She had been mistreated by the previous female owner as she cowered everytime my friend picked up her lead or anything rope-like (very sad).

Can anyone shed any light on why Jerry may be a bit different with me?

[Stuart]

I think your last paragraph could well be the reason,..some dogs do take to one sex rather than the other,..I can well understand your sadness.

Have you tried trying to get that sort of effection from her when you are out on your walks?,.. the home is where you `rule the roost` and show your dominence,..[ if you understand what I mean...lol],... maybe out on the walk she would feel more relaxed,..and it may improve from there

I admit that I am clutching at straws here though

[emmaj]

Thanks Stuart, I totally see your point about the affection whilst out on walk but at the moment it is a little bit hard as she is still recovering from a cruciate repair and I am trying to keep her as calm as possible when out (when excited or happy she spins which with her surgery is a bit of a nightmare).

She is so obidient I just hope she isn't scared of me ie I prepare her food and put it down, get distracted and forget I haven't told her to "go on then", I look around and she is sheepishly staring at me as if she daren't have it until I say. She stays in the kitchen until she is dry after a walk, then I open the dog gate and she can go to her bed in the living room . She won't move a muscle until I tell her, even if I forget and go in the living room without "inviting her". She sometimes just pokes her big black nose around the door to "test the water". I have never told her off or raised my voice at her which is why I find it a bit strange.


When she is recovered I will make a concious effect for that to be "us" time to try and get her to bond with me a bit more. She gets on the bed Sunday mornings and lies next to me on the sofa but I get the feeling its the bed and sofa that she wants not me I think maybe I am being a bit over sensitive oh well........at least the cat likes me

[stillalsations2me]

Was it you who took her to the vets for the op and the one who had to enforce the cage rest for six weeks? Most people will tell you dogs do not hold a grudge not true in my opinion, i think they do but only for a while. Maybe once exercise and routine is back in place the trust will return.

[emmaj]

Funny enough my partner (her favourite) took her to the vets and stayed with her while she was anethetised (which by all accounts was a pretty traumatic affair) and she still craves his affection!

The cage rest thing has been more of a she has to stay confined to a corner in the kitchen (by all) and I let her out to take her for a feed/wee-time so its all a bit strange.

I think it could possibly be the pecking order thing as I said previously she is very obidient with me but not kids or partner so perhaps they are her equals and I am the Alpha?????? Not that sure on the ol' dog phsycology thing pack mentality. When I first resuced her she didn't like the kids but loves them to bits now ??

[stillalsations2me]

If she considered you to be alpha she would be submissive towards you and leave her self vulnerable to you like the rest of her family.

Are your children all boys making you the only female? She is a rescue so maybe a negative experience in the past, just a thought.

[Zak]

If it was me I would hand feed her for 2 weeks.

[kita]

It's not a 'pack' thing - dogs don't have an 'Alpha' as such, they all take turns to 'lead' the pack at different times/activities.

Do you have the same relationship with all your family members? Do you feel exactly the same about all your children? (Be honest!!!).

We all feel slightly different about each member of our family, some we just like more than others. Dogs are the same.

I find most dogs have a 'special/favorite' person, when I bought my first GSD she was meant to be my dog, but she turned out to be utterly devoted to my OH (who knew nothing about dogs!). When he rescued her sister a year later she turned out to be 'my' dog. My Anatolian was always devoted to the daughter of my training friend, he used to go mad when he saw her (nearly scared a few people away from the training class ), he would do anything for her, yet she never fed him or walked him and only saw him at the training class. She remained his 'special' person all his life.

I would not worry about it to be honest - it is not really something we can change. As long as she trusts you generally and is reasonably affectionate I think that's all we can ask. We never really know what has happened in her past and we cannot change it, just enjoy her for what she is, it sounds like she has come a long way in the time you have had her.

Sue

[zetstaff]

I'm in exactly the same boat Tilly Piddle is a serious daddy's girl, he literally wears her all day she's forever curled up on his knee + I'm not given the same level of cuddles

I'm quite strict with my dogs, I have to be, + they get away with far more with Tel than they do with me. But when I go to bed Tilly is the first to come + lay at the side of me, make sure I'm ok + I just let them get on with it. Someone has to be in charge + if I wasn't strict with them they'd be a nightmare

So don't feel bad, in a way it's a compliment that she's looking to you in a sense for reassurance, that's the way I look at it. My dogs definitely have a different relationship with Tel than they do with me, if I say 'stop' they stop !!!! If he says 'stop' they carry on

Also I find they change as they mature, you have a great relationship with her clearly xxx

I think with dogs there's a lot of stuff we don't understand, yet expect to, so we think we are at fault. I think as well some dogs don't like you being overly affectionate, they like to come to you. Dogs are different with different people, just like we are, and maybe you'll have to accept that there may be something in her past which is still holding her back.

Zee can be a bit quirky similar to what you describe with Jerry. E.g. she'll give a paw for a ball or treat, so knows how to do it. But when I'm drying her off in the porch she refuses, just looks all sad at me if I ask for a paw. Her ears are back, she's submissive and very 'quiet' - not her usual self. As soon as I let her in the kitchen she instantly changes and is back to her happy self. She is used to being handled - maybe she has a towel phobia! I've no idea what's going on in that little head!