Separation Anxiety

We have a 2 year old GSD which we've had from 8weeks old and he is marvelous except for the seperation anxiety he only has it when my wife leaves the room or goes out.
We have tried everything that all the web sites suggest to get him out of it but if anything it's getting worse, he is crate trained and sleeps in it with no problem at all when we go to bed.
It's now not even line of sight if my goes to the washing line he can see her but conservatory door is shut he howls cries till she comes back in, if she goes to the toilet it's the same he has now started howling and crying when she's on the phone.
When we go shopping he goes in his crate with no problem but as soon as he realises we have gone out he starts the crying howling and barking untill we come back (as neighbours have told us) 2 hour trip to Tesco's and does it the whole time.
We are both home most of the time as i'm disabled and my wife is my carer but when we are out hostpital etc the neighbours are now complaining a bit about bit, we can't afford to get someone to try train him out of it (as this has been sugested from a trainer on another site)
It's coming to the point now that my wife has had enough and is starting to think that the best thing would be to re-home him, sorry for the lomg post.

[LucyA]

Hi and welcome to the forum
I am sorry to hear you are having such problems with your boy!
Please don't think too much about rehoming just yet I am sure between us all we can find something.
My first thing would be to ensure that when she comes in from wherever you have been make sure she does something before fussing him - stick the kettle on etc then fuss. Even if she has only been in the garden, don't look him in the eye until she is ready to give him attention. It will teach him he is not the most important thing in the world. He might start jumping at her to get her to pay him attention - if he does, she should turn her back, stay silent and perservere - give it a go.
I think he just needs a little less attention to put him in his place.
Blitz was like this with me, and still is to an extent, he'll whimper for a few minutes after I leave but he settles quickly. It took about 4 weeks to see any progress but I did get there!
Good luck xxx

[LOVEGSD]

Hello and welcome

Sorry to hear you are suffering with this, I went through it with my lad and it can be quite distressing to hear them create when you go out but you can get through this so don't think about re-homing just yet.

Firstly does your wife fuss him when she gets back from leaving him?? We were told to stop all eye contact and fuss about 15mins before leaving, keep things calm and just leave without any talking/looking at him. When you get back don't make a big thing about being back, walk in and ignore him until he is calm then call him to you for gentle fussing.

Do you allow him to follow you everywhere in the house? Your dog needs to learn that he's going to be ok on his own, start by just going out of the room for a few seconds then come back in, then go out again, come back in etc and then start to build up the time you're out for.

xx

[chazzvetnurse27]

Hi there,

So sorry to hear your poor lad is getting so upset. I would recommend getting a trainer/behaviourist in to help you before you decide to rehome him. He must be very attached to your wife as he is demanding her attention all the time. There is hope if he is crate trained and lets you go to bed etc wihtout a fuss. Please dont give up on him just yet!

There are lots of nice people on this forum and they will give you lots of support and advice

[zetstaff]

Hello + welcome

Sorry can't help you as I've never had this problem, but there are loads of knowledgeable people who can on here + I'm sure you'll get over this problem, we'll get you over it xx

Any chance of a piccie of your doggie?

Oh i feel for you. We had that bad with Remus. Howling outside the loo, whining if I left house for 5 mins etc. He would be so bad he'd be covered in froth from panting when I returned.

Some good advice already. You probably know there's no quick fix for SA - I'd say it took 3 months for our dog to be ok with being on his own. Some people say to mix up the routine of going out, so if the dog stresses when you pick up keys, then pick up keys at odd times. He'll have sussed your leaving routine and also they pick up on energies - so know when you're going out.

Try to be calm and confident too, that will help. Nothing worse than that feeling of driving home worrying if the dog's gone beserk. If there's any mess, don't tell him off, just put him in another room nearby and clean it up.

We found these things helped:

• While we're in the house letting him be apart from us, so not always in the same room - allows the dog to be happy with his own company and realise it's no big thing being on his own.
• Prior to leaving, ignore the dog completely, no interaction for at least 10 minutes.
• Doing saturation leaving sessions to de-sensitize him. Leaving the house - just going outside - for 10 mins then coming back in. Mixing these up - so 10 mins, 5 mins, 15 mins etc. Initially find the time he's ok with - this might be seconds, but work with it. These are very important, no good doing some one day, then none for a few days or you're back to square one. The aim is to get to being able to leave him for 30 mins - once he's at that you can start to build from there.
• When doing longer leaving sessions of 30 mins or more only increasing the time by 10 mins per day. Dogs do have a concept of time, so the extra 10 mins means 5 mins for him to wonder where you are, and 5 mins to stress or bark, which isn't much before you arrive back.
• Keeping leaving and meetings low key - no saying goodbye, or fussing him when we returned. Don't even look at the dog, just carry on with what you're doing.
• Ignoring hyper-excited behaviour when we returned. Praising him only when he's calm.
• Using a firm leaving command - "Back soon!" whenever you leave him, whether it's to put rubbish out or a proper leaving session.
• Allowing dog unrestricted access to the downstairs rooms and hall; not shutting him in one room.
• Leaving him with a chew toy or bone to keep him occupied, and removing this when you return. Reverse psychology; dog gets good things when you're away.
• Leaving a radio on.

[Mazz]

Hello and welcome.

Sorry you have this problem.
I'm sure a lot of people on here ,have had this one time or another.
We did almost the exact things as Anni say's.
It does take time, and you feel horrible ignoring you dog when you've been out for a while (little by little)
It will work, just give him time.
Try to explain to the neighbours what you are doing, they maybe very understanding.
Please don't think about rehoming you'r beautiful dog.
He just needs some house rules.
Good luck.

Mazz

[Bet]

I have the same problem with Zeus, we tried crate training him as soon as we got him, we put it in the corner of the living room and he would happily eat and sleep in it with the door open but went ballistic trying to get out when left even for a short time...so much so he damaged his puppy canines.

As it distressed him so much I used to leave him in the hall with all of the other doors locked, more to keep him away from our other late dog who we couldn't trust while unsupervised. This also stressed him out as he wanted to get to Jake, so he took to stripping the wall paper and chewing the door frames. I came back to total carnage a couple of times when my son had forgotten to lock the kitchen door lol. I can look back and laugh now but was less than impressed at the time...needless to say that it was my son who got the rollocking for being careless. We asked our neighbours if he was being noisy when we were out and they said yes but they weren't bothered by it luckily.

Zeus has calmed down a little since we got Maisy and fingers crossed, so far all has been well when they've been left with eachother in the hall for limited amounts of time.

He doesn't follow me around quite so much now either, previously if I moved he was up in an instant following me from room to room, he still stresses if we're out on walks and my O.H is holding the lead...if he is more than 2 metres away from me, Zeus will pant, bark, pull and strain to get back to me.

I've tried changing my routine when leaving but think he's better behaved because he has Maisy for company.

They are both quite possesive over me and will muscle in on eachother when i'm trying to cuddle and fuss the other dog........that ones a work in progress as I dont have enough arms to control the situation when i'm in on my own.

I still have a way to go with them but I will persevere

[Su-C]

Just wanted to say hi - and welcome to the forum.

Not a lot I can add (in fact, nothing I can add) to the fantastic advice you have already had here, but the most important thing is to get the dog happy with your wife being out of the room first of all, and learning that he isnt the be-all and end-all to your wife (ie getting your wife to not fuss over him when she leaves and returns).

Sue
x

Originally Posted by Bet

I have the same problem with Zeus, we tried crate training him as soon as we got him, we put it in the corner of the living room and he would happily eat and sleep in it with the door open but went ballistic trying to get out when left even for a short time...so much so he damaged his puppy canines.

As it distressed him so much I used to leave him in the hall with all of the other doors locked, more to keep him away from our other late dog who we couldn't trust while unsupervised. This also stressed him out as he wanted to get to Jake, so he took to stripping the wall paper and chewing the door frames. I came back to total carnage a couple of times when my son had forgotten to lock the kitchen door lol. I can look back and laugh now but was less than impressed at the time...needless to say that it was my son who got the rollocking for being careless. We asked our neighbours if he was being noisy when we were out and they said yes but they weren't bothered by it luckily.

Zeus has calmed down a little since we got Maisy and fingers crossed, so far all has been well when they've been left with eachother in the hall for limited amounts of time.

He doesn't follow me around quite so much now either, previously if I moved he was up in an instant following me from room to room, he still stresses if we're out on walks and my O.H is holding the lead...if he is more than 2 metres away from me, Zeus will pant, bark, pull and strain to get back to me.

I've tried changing my routine when leaving but think he's better behaved because he has Maisy for company.

They are both quite possesive over me and will muscle in on eachother when i'm trying to cuddle and fuss the other dog........that ones a work in progress as I dont have enough arms to control the situation when i'm in on my own.

I still have a way to go with them but I will persevere

Bet, this is going to sound cruel but you need to ignore them more. If you go into another room, close the door so it can't follow you and say 'You stay there' or similar. Also when you're in another room where the dog isn't, when you leave that room to where the dog is, don't fuss it - difficult cos we love them! But by doing that you make it needy... You might not do this, but this is an example: the dog got fussed when you return, so when you go it's waiting for that fuss again and will create to get it.

If the dog just looks at you, or gives a tail wag on you returning to the room, and doesn't jump up instantly and come to greet you... then just say 'Good dog' or something like that. Dogs should be happy sleeping / resting when apart from you (within reason). I'll fuss mine if there still lying down chilling, as that's what I want them to do when I'm away from them.

A general point about having another dog to 'keep it company'. Some dogs still have separation anxiety even with other dogs because it's the owner they miss. Zee had this initially - cried when I left her, even though Remus was there.