Loosing the will to live!

#1 17-11-11, 01:09 PM

My husband came with the addition of a preston (GSD)who is now 7
It has to be said that from day 1of me and Preston meeting
He was not happy he was jelouse of my husbands
(then boyfriend) attention to me by winging and barking at me
Whenever he would hug me or come near me.
My husband even found him stood over me one night while I was sleeping
Ready to eliminate Or at least to try!
There have been variouse problems throught the years some of the more seriouse being going for our nice as she tried to hand my husband something and also our son when he was tiny on 2 occasions!
The most recent problem we are having is him wrecking the house he has destroyed a interior door while we were out trying to get upstairs which he knows he is not allowed to do.
He also barks to go out for a wee in the morning which is normal but then won't go out and is pettrifide to go out in our garden this also seems to be linked to the distructive behaviour we can't work out what's going on
I can't take much more am ready to leave my husband and the dog to it that's how low I feel. My husband has very little time to care for him fully and says its my fault and not his because I don't like him while am not in love with the dog I would never see him hurt or I'll and I am usually the one who knows when there is something wrong as I am here most of the time .
I am convinced that he misses my husband emencly when he is not here and as the time my husband has has got less and less
Due to the need to work more to support our family that he is board and missreble and is acting out in this way!
Due to all the past incidents I simply have no trust for the dog at all and don't want him anywhere near our son for fear that he will harm him should I really be living in fear of this dog that I clearly don't stand a chance against if he did turn on me or our son?
Sorry for rant but sm just so fed up and just feel resent towards the dog and I am stressed all the time because of the situation of he refusing to go outside and wrecking the house!

sams mum · #2 17-11-11, 01:33 PM

no expert am i but sure lots on here will have some good advise..

just wondering though. when he is destructive in the house is he banished to the garden.. if so he may be reluctant to go outside if he sees the garden as punishment. sounds to me like he doesnt quite know how to behave or react...

you wouldnt hurt him but say you 'dont like' him.. the dog will know this, will pick up on how you feel and is probably unsure and nervous..

destroying the house.. when your oh is at work does he get excersise and play. he could be bored and just be stimulating himself by destroying things...

i have a feeling if you could grow to love him by forming a bond through different excersises the relationship between you would change dramatically..a kind word or kind body language , a ruffle of his head as you go aabout your day, could be the start of a journey of discovering each other...

be interesting and invaluable to know how you deal with him when you find things destroyed..often the way we chastise them can make the problem all the worse without realising it.

sezpet · #3 17-11-11, 01:37 PM

Hi,
Its always very difficult to comment on other peoples personal circumstances but i will try to address a few problems.
Firstly, if the dog is destructive when you are out,i would buy a big crate to put him in when you are out or sleeping,most dogs adapt quickly to a crate and it makes them feel secure in their own little place.I cover the top of the crate with a blanket and put some soft blankets inside to make a little den for the dog,that way,when you are unable to supervise him he is in a safe place.Just dont use the crate as a puishment or leave him in it for long periods of time and he will be fine.
Secondly,i dont know how much time you have on your hands,but where possible i would take the dog walking with you whenever it is possible, it is important that you try to build a bond between yourself and the dog,dogs pick up on negativity and this dog may already feel that you dont like/trust him....you may even find you start to enjoy the dog more!!
Regarding behaviour,reward all good desirable behaviour and try to ignore all the bad,i know you probably feel very frustrated when the dog acts up but stay calm and be consitant.The dog needs to know that it must respect you as it does your husband.Go back to basics with training and try to interact and include the dog in your daily routine as much as possible.
My 18 month male does not like to go outside alone and i am often seen at all hours in p/js and an overcoat wandering around the garden whilst he does his business...its all part of the job im afraid.
Above all stay calm,remove him from the room quietly and without eye contact or talking if you do not like his behaviour...ultimately, most gsd love to be with their pack and its amazing what 5 mins alone does to their mindset.
I am no expert but i hope this helps and i hope that you can establish a great relationship with your dog...He is after all a member of your family/

Good Luck
Sarah x

claire_88 · #4 17-11-11, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kara31785

My husband came with the addition of a preston (GSD)who is now 7
It has to be said that from day 1of me and Preston meeting
He was not happy he was jelouse of my husbands
(then boyfriend) attention to me by winging and barking at me
Whenever he would hug me or come near me.
My husband even found him stood over me one night while I was sleeping
Ready to eliminate Or at least to try!
There have been variouse problems throught the years some of the more seriouse being going for our nice as she tried to hand my husband something and also our son when he was tiny on 2 occasions!
The most recent problem we are having is him wrecking the house he has destroyed a interior door while we were out trying to get upstairs which he knows he is not allowed to do.
He also barks to go out for a wee in the morning which is normal but then won't go out and is pettrifide to go out in our garden this also seems to be linked to the distructive behaviour we can't work out what's going on
I can't take much more am ready to leave my husband and the dog to it that's how low I feel. My husband has very little time to care for him fully and says its my fault and not his because I don't like him while am not in love with the dog I would never see him hurt or I'll and I am usually the one who knows when there is something wrong as I am here most of the time .
I am convinced that he misses my husband emencly when he is not here and as the time my husband has has got less and less
Due to the need to work more to support our family that he is board and missreble and is acting out in this way!
Due to all the past incidents I simply have no trust for the dog at all and don't want him anywhere near our son for fear that he will harm him should I really be living in fear of this dog that I clearly don't stand a chance against if he did turn on me or our son?
Sorry for rant but sm just so fed up and just feel resent towards the dog and I am stressed all the time because of the situation of he refusing to go outside and wrecking the house!

Hi there, sorry to hear your having a hard time with your pooch, they can become devils if you let them......
I agree entirely with what sezpet has said.
Respect has to come from both sides and when you said you have no trust and resent for Preston, he is going to sense this within you, to put it bluntly in his eyes, you are weak, and dog's do not follow weak leaders......

From what you've stated, i think a little more time and patience for Preston is needed, any spare moment you and your husband get, go out as a family all together, play with him, let your son throw a ball for him, interact and include him!

High energy dog's will become destructive and a pain in the arse to release their built up frustration which in this case sounds like lack of exercise. An hours walk in the morning and at night could greatly reduce this behaviour as can playtime and training.

If you feel Preston is missing your husband so much, could it be separation anxiety? I have never experienced SA but do know it needs to be treated carefully. I'm sure somebody on here will further advise.

In the meantime, try and build your own bond with the dog, stay relaxed let him come to you, and keep your frustrations and stress levels to yourself. In his presence stay happy and calm and you will find he should respond in a similar manner.

#5 17-11-11, 02:04 PM

Thanks for your replies when he is distructive when we have been out there is no point in shouting at him or telling him off as we have not caught him in the act so there for he would not understand what he is being punished for! So I don't react in any way other than to clean up the mess!
We don't use the garden as punishment either so I don't understand his fear of it at all! I am not phisically able to take the dog out for walks unfortunately he is a massive dog and very strong and with him not listening to me at all he has could pull me over or worse in to the road which he has done to other members in our family who have tried to take him out!
I want to try and get along with him but it just seems like
Every time I let my barrier down a little he dose something else to make me
Put it back up again!
At the moment I suppose he is excluded a lot of the time because of the negative behaviour in the past towards our son if we did have him included more
I would have to re train my husband as he finds it perfectly acceptable for Preston to be practaly sat on his knee which then triggers negativity towards our son if he tries to get daddy's attention I don't think the dog should be so close as he needs to know that he is not number one priority but equal and that my husband is not his personal possession!

claire_88 · #6 17-11-11, 02:08 PM

Have you tried a kong wobbler toy?
Keep my pair entertained for ages.....

Amazon.co.uk: kong wobbler

#7 17-11-11, 02:22 PM

The konga wobbler looks good I think he would like that I will get him one anything is worth a try!

sams mum · #8 17-11-11, 02:25 PM

.poor you... think your right.. husband needs training as much as dog (often the way

)and he needs to take your worries and stress seriously..may not be the case here but sometimes its easy to dislike someones dog/child (the latter many times for me) because of the way they deal with them. think the key may be setting rules and boundries and training methods everyone respects agrees with and sticks to.. work as a team and hopefully youll become one (naughty dog as well)

nothing broken that cant be fixed though so be patient and im sure youll get there...

kita · #9 17-11-11, 02:29 PM

How old is your son now?

Would it be possible for you to join a friendly pet dog training class, one that all the family can go along to?

What area of the country are you in? Maybe someone on here might know of a class/walks in your area that you could join.

Another good thing to try would be a head collar (Halti, Dogmatic etc). That way you could walk him without the fear of being pulled over.

Do you play any games with him? Scent games are good - hide treats/toys around the house and garden and get him to 'find' them. That will help you bond with him more, you could also get your son to play with him as well (depending on his age of course!).

Who feeds the dog?

Sue

#10 17-11-11, 03:15 PM

My son will be 2 in January.
I have my hands full most of the day but I guess I could do something during my sons nap time! I do however give him treats and he will sit and give paw to me if I ask him to! I think we need to build trust before I will feel confident to take him out with a toddler in toe that's really not ideal at the moment the way things are! Thanks for all the advise am taking it all on board!