Grieving German Shepherd

[JoJo1974]

Yesterday we had to make a hard decision about our 15 year old Male Dog. We have 2 female German Shepherds left at home and now ones behaviour is causing us great concern. I understand she is grieving with us but I don't know what to do for the best. I appreciate it is early days.

We never felt she was very close to our Male dog but it appears we were wrong.

At night the dogs are not allowed upstairs and we have a door that stops them getting upstairs (they have full roam of the downstairs and garden). There has never been a problem with them all staying downstairs until last night. Elli the youngest dog (3 years) sat at the bottom of the stairs howling and digging at the door to be let upstairs. After 5 hours I couldnt cope any longer and let her upstairs and after running around for 10 minutes crying she settle down. I took her downstairs again and left her, but again she did exactly the same thing.

This is a difficult time for us all and seeing her in so much distress is just making everything even harder and I don't know what to do for the best. I don't really want to change her routine by letting her upstairs but I also can't bear to see her so wound up.

If anyone has any advise or experience of this I would appreciate any help.

Regards
Jo

[sami]

Hi sorry to hear about the loss of your boy, I am in a similar situation but not sure I can be much help.

I have just lost my 14yr old girl and still have her 12 year old son. He is very quiet and sat whimpering by the side of me for the first 3 days. He is not doing too badly but is obviously still quite depressed for want of a better word, not eating unless coaxed.

About 4 years ago we lost his dad and I was shocked at how distressed Sami (the girl I have just lost) was. She cried and cried for a few weeks everytime my husband was out but other than just make a fuss of her there wasnt much else I could do. After a while, and I am afraid it was a couple of months, she gradually seemed to calm down.

Mine have always slept upstairs with us and if it were me I would probably just let her upstairs. She may eventually settle downstairs but it will take a while, it depends on how much you can stand listening to her crying.

Sorry not much help, but I do know how you feel.

[Jon]

Hello,

Sorry for your loss, I'm sorry I can't offer any advice.

Jon

[Bet]

Hi and welcome, so sorry to hear your sad news We had to make the same decision about our old Dalmation last year. He was pts at home and we let Zeus spend some time with him afterwards so he would hopefully realise that he had passed away. He was very attached to Jake and he grieved too.

They had always slept seperately though as it had taken Jake a while to accept another dog in the house, Zeus would check every room downstairs when he got up and then throw himself down in a corner looking very sorry for himself. He went off his food too but he had always been quite a finicky eater. We gave him loads of extra attention, love and prolonged play sessions to try to cheer him up. A few weeks on he was still depressed and was losing weight so we decided to find him a new friend. Maisy was full on from the day we got her, she didn't give him a minutes peace, he soon got back to his old happy self.

As you still have 2 dogs, I would give them both lots of attention, maybe she's confused and thinks your old male is still in the house, she will still be able to smell his scent around. Or maybe she is unsettled because of the hierarchy of the pack changing. I can understand you not wanting to change her routine, i'm too soft (both of mine sleep in our room) and would let them sleep in the bedroom or put a childgate on the bedroom door and allow them to roam free for a while till things settle down and improve.

I don't know what else to suggest.
Regards
Bet

[JoJo1974]

Thank you for all your advice. I am happy for her to sleep upstairs if thats what she needs. I was just worried about her routine. The guilt I am feeling about having my Beautiful boy Barklee PTS is immense. I feel like not only have I killed a much loved pet but I have also made the other two so unhappy. How is that being a responsible owner?

[sami]

I know just how you feel. It is only natural to second guess whether you did the right thing because it is us who have to make the decision for them. The way I think of it is would I have wanted to carry on if I felt as my dog did then. Sami was everything to me and Leo but she had just had enough at the end and it was the kind thing to do for her. I am sure your situation was the same.

We have had to make a point of not saying Sami's name or Leo starts to cry again.

I say everytime I lose one of my dogs that I am NEVER having another it is just too hard to let them go

[JoJo1974]

This is the first time I have ever had to do this and never want to do it again. I burst into tears for absolutely no reason and silly little things just remind me of him. I really really really am never getting another dog!

[sami]

That is natural tbh. I said to my vet "why cant they just go on their own" and he replied that they rarely do. It is a horrible, horrible experience but unfortunately it comes with pet ownership. Eventually you will remember him with a smile but it takes time.

It might help to put some photos of him on here in a sort of tribute to him, it helps take you through the grieving process I found.

That said I still have a little weep every now and then, I lost my Sami 2 weeks ago now.

[Bet]

You did what any caring owner would in that situation. You put your beautiful Barklee's needs above your own feelings and ended his suffering/pain.

Jake was my husbands dog and it took him a while to come to terms with making the decision to have him pts. I watched Jake deteriorate gradually over several months, he had arthritis and needed to be helped up and down, he would fall over outside and Zeus would bark and fetch me to help him up. He became incontinent and spent most of his time sleeping.
It was upsetting for me to see him this way but my hubby was adamant that while he was still trying to play with his ball and enjoying his food that he would stay with us.

I could see in his eyes that he'd had enough, eventually my hubby saw it too. It didn't make things any easier though, i'm sure my OH was hoping that he would peacefully slip away in his sleep to save him making the call. Even though we knew it was the right thing to do, we still felt guilt when the time came. It still hurts me to think back now and months have passed, all you can do is give it time. Most on here know what you are going through.

Stay strong and even though it doesn't feel like it now....you did the best thing for your beloved Barklee, your other girls will be ok xxx

[evabrook]

i am soooo sorry for your loss.think most of us on here have lost a friend along the way.When we had to have our jack russell cross pts even my husband cried and that never happens we were left with only our cat who morned for about 3 weeks,we too said never ever again and meant it at the time,but strange things happen and nearly a year to the day we got BROOK our first gsd and now we have Eva things will get easier give them time x