Vaseline Research

[wolfman]

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?'

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all... my husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

I'm going to share that!

[zetstaff]

[GV9297]

Not heard that one before!

[sami]

Very good Wolfe, not heard that one before.

Tracy

[kelpiemad]

Like it

[TiasDad]

borrowed

[GobbySchäferhund]

[zetstaff]

Phil is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one at an excellent price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
A week later, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his motorcycle over to her house and finds her waiting outside for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word," she says. "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."
Phil sits down for dinner and it's exactly as she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and no one is saying a word. So, Phil decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously furious, and her mother horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is livid, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is total silence at the table.
Suddenly, there's a loud clap of thunder and it begins to pour. Phil remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline. As soon as he sees this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH ALREADY, I"LL DO THE DISHES!"