Bit of a moan

[gem]

Hi all,

hope you dont mind me having a bit of a moan. I am so cross with my niece and her partner. Let me tell you a little about her set up and history with dogs then the reason I am cross will become clear. She and her partner have a very active two year old who I adore but my niece struggles to entertain - thats putting it nicely. My niece didnt have her mum around much growing up so we became close, we supported her when she had her little one and helped settle her into her new place.

Last summer she asked mine & OH opinion about them getting a dog. They had seen a dog on a rescue site on line. We made it clear that they can be hard work/the cost etc compared to the good. She said her OH really wanted one he's unemployed she wanted to motivate him and thought it would be good for the little girl. I advised against it having seen the little girl around my dogs - she wouldnt leave them alone. Advised that her OH would be better motivated by getting a job and showing some commitment before getting a dog - in a nice way.

Well she got the dog a collie - she was lovely and very well trained. My neice thought she was the bee's knees for the first week and give her OH his due he walked her but after that it started - she wont leave my little girl alone, she drops to much hair etc. I visited her to try and give her some tips, while I was there the little girl wouldnt leave the dog alone not the other way around I reexplained the need for the dog to have its own area so it could get some piece. Then she started moaning about the hair - it gets everywhere - your house isnt like this etc etc - the dog went to the patio doors asking to go out and the little girl went to follow I had to stop her the garden was full of dog feaces I was absolutley disgusted and made it clear to my niece that it was a health risk,. A couple of days later she took the dog back to the rescue.

I made it clear how disappointed I was in her and how sorry I felt for the dog now having to go through rescue again - she tried to absolve herself of all blame - she didnt want the dog to begin with. I must admit I lost my temper and told her a few home truths - I abhore people who take dogs on for a couple of weeks and then put them in a rescue -( I'm not having ago at people who need to rehome for a genuine reason) and I made it clear that I didnt think she should have another dog. She agreed never again.

Well to cut a long story short my OH came home the other night and tells me my niece called him - she has a puppy - a rotwiller. My OH said she wanted us to come see it and give her some advice. I refused to go but my OH went. When he came home he was not amused, my niece was moaning that all the puppy does is sleep, he said that the little girl wouldnt leave it alone. He managed to turn a cubby under the stairs into a chill out area for the pup with the door open and an old fire gaurd. She says that her OH just turned up with it and she didnt know it was coming however this isnt true as she told another family member how excited she was, but she was worried about telling us. I feel so sorry for the pup the first few months are so important for socialising etc. The rest of the family all feel that she should not have this pup, she cant be bothered to tidy up after her own child and teach her right from wrong I cant see much chance for the dog. Its an accident waiting to happen.

I am aware that we all have to learn somewhere and maybe I sound a little harsh but I really feel that this is not the right time for her. I made it clear last time that if she did it again I would have nothing to do with her or it. I feel torn because I am worried about the puppy but I am so angry with her right now for potentially ruining another dog.

rant over if you got this far thanks for persevering.

[Moobli]

I am not at all surprised you are angry and disappointed in your niece. I would be too!

The collie actually sounds to have had a lucky escape, and I am actually surprised that a rescue let them take on such an active dog in her situation.

Anyway, the problem now is this poor Rottie pup. Rotties can be absolutely wonderful dogs in the right hands and with the correct socialisation and training - much like our shepherds. However, as you have already said, I think this sounds like an accident waiting to happen Then, no doubt, the dog will pa the ultimate price.

I think that in your situation, I would be tempted to go and see your niece, tell her in no uncertain terms how you feel about what she has done, but offer her your support and help and then maybe, just maybe, this poor pup will have the chance at a decent life.

Alternatively, I would try to reason with her that she has neither the time nor inclination to own a dog and try to talk her into returning the pup to the breeder.

So sorry you find yourself stuck in this position - it must be very difficult.

[Tedsmum]

I do know the frustration you are feeling.
Unfortunately my daughter very nearly went the same way and it was only my incessant nagging that stopped her getting a Husky because "they look nice".
She too is not exactly a domestic goddess and has an active 4 year old daughter who is a handful.
Her OH wants a Husky but has no interest in engaging with his own daughter, let alone taking any responsibility for a pet.
He recently came home with a snake and has left all of its cleaning and feeding to my daughter and needless to say it is now slowly starving to death because they do not know how to look after it. I continue to offer advice to try and prevent it and if I lived closer I would probably confiscate it TBH.
It is very difficult but it is not your responsibility and you should not feel that it is your job to sort the problem out. I know you are only thinking of the puppy and I expect I would do the same, but if your niece will not listen to basic advice like picking up poo from her garden, I feel you may be flogging a dead horse!
I would be on hand to help but the situation looks like it will not turn out well so be prepared for this dog to go the same way as the last one.
I think I have got the message through to my daughter but I fully expect to get a phone call one day to tell me they have gone and got a dog from the free ads for £50!

[Stuart]

Yes,.. angry is one word,.. there are other words that would also do,... you have done your best to educate her, and I am betting you will probable continue to do so,.. but if your words fall on deaf ears there is little you can do

I also think that the Collie had a lucky escape, but better for the girl a Collie, than a Rottie,.. lovely dogs, but brought up wrongly can be a danger to family and others.

its a difficult situation for you

[gem]

Eve,

thanks for replying, and the support, was at the end of my tether earlier. Moobli, I gave my niece a ring today to check how her first night went with the pup, check what they are feeding him. I will go and visit tommorow and try and talk her into sending the pup back, otherwise I will prob end up trying to teach her to care & train it as I am quiet concerned about the relationship between her daughter and the pup. At the end of the day its not the pups fault

Tedsmum, glad I'm not alone, my niece tells me she's an adult - shame she dosnt act like one

Stuart, you are right I will keep trying to educate her and keep an eye on the situation, I agree rotties are lovely but not for people who have no knowledge of the breed especially with a young child.

the best outcome for all concerned would be that the pup goes back to the breeder, fingers crossed I will be able to persuade her.

[lauraburns]

Oh dear!! What a dilemma for you! Rotties can be absolutely wonderful dogs, but they must have a lot of time and effort put into them right from the start, and it doesn't sound like your niece is prepared to do that!! I pray that you are able to talk some sense into her and the pup gets returned or rehomed ASAP!!!

Keep us posted on how you get on with it all! xx

[jc24965]

Very worrying indeed

[LOVEGSD]

I can totally understand your anger, that poor puppy I really hope they do right by this dog with your help...x

[gem]

Hi guys

not been on for a little while but heres an update on the rottie pup - he is back with his breeder - which really is the best outcome.

Took me a couple of days to achieve and perhaps a reality check of having a puppy and a small child. Gave my niece a strong talking to and just have to hope she's learnt her lesson but got to say I am very pleased just wished she'd not got him in the first place.

[Willo]

Great result for the pup! As you say, shame it had to happen in the first place but hopefully his next home is his forever home!