My Elsa

[Bill14]

I rescued Elsa in 2005 from what i thought at the time sounded like a genuine owner as she had sent me some pics of Elsa and she looked fine , she was pictured standing in a field of wild flowers holding a tennis ball in her mouth so all seemed fine . However when the lady turned up with Elsa the poor dog looked thin , her coat was matted and her ears were in a dreadful state . The owner said she is fine with cats and she loves other dogs , children will be no problem either , she added Elsa might cry after i go as she will obviously miss me . The owner left , Elsa did not blink , murmer or whimper but just stood there looking up at me with sad eyes wondering where she was and what to do . I introduced Max my other long haired GSD and thankfully they got on straight away . After several hours of settling her in and showing her around the house , plenty of cuddles and a few games of catch the ball she seemed really relaxed so i decided to walk her with Max for just a short walk , just to see how she was out on a lead. Well was i in for a surprise , she barked and growled at dogs , cats , people at the bus stop even cars passing by , i took her back home with my other dog realising boy i might have my hands full here . My assessment turned out right as for the next few weeks she was very aggressive to basically everything passing , i realised this was due to her being so scared more than an aggressive trait , she was just frightened . Luckily because i have many years of experience as a dog handler with the forces i new it would just take time and patience , plenty of love and just trust on her part . So i took my time and within 6 months or so she started to come round and become the loving dog i knew she was . Over the next 5 years or so i could not have wished for a better dog , she was loyal , so loving and so much fun , always bossy and telling me it was dinner time , or time to go for our walk , barked at me to get up in the mornings so no lie in's were allowed , she loved playtime in the evenings as well as her final cuddles before she settled for the night . She would lie by the front door if i went out waiting for me to return , if i left in the car she would go upstairs and watch me leaving from a low standing window in a utility room that eventually became her room ..she would still be sat there watching in the same window when i returned in the car , the neighbours even got used to seeing her watching them pass by . She always bossed Max my other long haired German Shepherd even though he was much larger than her , he never minded and in fact seemed to like the fact he had this strong willed dog next to him. She loved her county walks , we would do a good 5 to 6 miles most evenings in some of the loveliest country walks in Leicestershire , she would chase the squirrels , the rabbits and bark at the birds , she was just plain crazy but good with it . Then in December i noticed her rear legs were starting to drag on the carpets on the house , only slightly but enough to alarm me , i put it down to arthritis or a back problem , took her to the vets got medications he prescribed , i changed her diet , made sure she wasnt over weight , even tried vitamins that help arthritis but sadly things slowly got worse . Over the coming weeks her legs dragged even more , she started hobbling , her tail dropped , even her bark changed its tone , her mind however remained clear and she was alert and appeared to be in no pain. Again i took her to the vets we both looked at each other and new it was Degenerative Myelopathy , he prescribed more medication , my heart sank as i new what i was in for over the coming months , however i didnt realise things would get worse in a matter of weeks in fact. Well sure enough she got worse , she could hardly walk 100 yards in the end , she had a job getting up the stairs to the room she loved to look out the window and watch the road outside , she would want to play ball with a large football in the garden but if i kicked it and she ran after it she would collapse on both her hind legs , i could have cried as i felt so sorry for this once so strong dog that only weeks back had been running in the countryside chasing rabbits . Finally it got to the point where she was stumbling and falling over just to walk in the house so i made an appointment with my local vet for a couple days time , i knew these where the last days i had with Elsa . So for the next 2 days we played in the house , i gave her cuddles and spoilt her rotten , i tried to let her know that i loved her so much , i think she knew . The night before i had to take her to the vets in which i knew she would not be returning i couldnt sleep , i think i got 3 hours sleep off and on all night , i woke up at 6 am even though the appointment was for 10.15 am , i just sat there looking at her wishing i could wave some magic wand and she would be fine , i had ideas in my head that maybe the vet will say its not DG but something he could treat but i knew deep down this was a false hope , Elsa just lay there quietly which was unlike herso i guess she knew as well . Well the time came to take her to the vets , i fussed her before i took her out and said 'sorry for what i am to dobut i love you too much Elsa' meaning i couldnt watch her dragging her feet anyl onger , falling into my furniture and looking so lifeless . We drove off to the vets , Elsa looking out the car window enjoying her last drive , we got to the vets and she stumbled and hobbled in. The wait to see the vet was like waiting to go to a firing squad . Eventually it was our time to go in . The vet looked at Elsa , looked at me , again we both knew , he offered to try the same medication that hadnt worked before but we both knew that was clutching at straws .He then said those dreadful words 'i think its time to let her go Bill' , i nodded as i couldnt answer as i was so choked up , i knew if i spoke i would just burst into tears , i signed a form said my farewells to Elsa , hugged her one last time and then the vet took her into the back as for some reason he would not put her to sleep in front of me , to be honest i think that was best anyway as i want to remember her as i knew her , full of life. I walked out the vets took a big breath , drove home , walked int the front door of my house and said to Max 'Elsa is gone' and just burst into tears . The remaining hours and days have been so quiet in my house as Max is a calm dog anyway but Elsa had been the life and soul of the house always demanding , always on the go , no more begging for treats or begging for ball games , he morning bark and no one watching from that upstairs window , boy do i miss her . Now im an ex Royal Marine and have seen a lot in life , it takes a lot to move me but i never thought this would hurt so much . I hope me sharing my thoughts with you all hasnt upset anyone but i just needed to share my feelings .

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[Bonniesmummy]

Bill I am in tears reading this and getting some strange looks from the girls in the office.

It's clear just how must she meant to you and how much you loved her and I'd bet my life she knew it too!!! She was lucky to have you and you her, my heart goes out to you stay strong and enjoy every minute of life with max xxx

[LOVEGSD]

I can barely see my keyboard to type this reply.....

Elsa was clearly a beautiful girl inside and out and it's lovely to see that you took her away from a not so good start and gave her such a wonderful life.

My heart breaks for you at this time

We are all here for you....xx

[zetstaff]

*tears streaming down her face* what a lovely tribute, she'll always be with you xxx

[GV9297]

What a beautiful story of a beautiful dog ..... shes still waiting for you

Remember the good times x x

[Sammy2011]

What a heart-wrenching story. I'm so sorry, RIP gorgeous Elsa. xxx

[LucyA]

*Just as choked up* Thank you for sharing Bill that can't of been easy. xx

[lauraburns]

What a beautiful tribute to Elsa! She sounds like she was a right character! The pain over losing them will never completely go, but it does get easier. Eventually you will be left with all the amazing memories of the wonderful times you spent together.

[RstuS]

Bill, I am choked. That was one of the best tributes I have ever read. The joy at first of Elsa coming to you, then the saddness of her ending. It makes me feel I actually knew her. I commend you in being a great owner, and you clearly love her ( and Max) dearly. You did your best and provided a great life for her, I congratulate you on this.

*Dabs eyes* You've set me off now too. We all understand how that must have felt You know when it's time.

I know it's a very emotive subject but I personally couldn't let my dog go on that last journey alone, I have to be there with them as they slip away