XANDER

[Vivienne]

Hi Folks, just to let you know that Xander passed away a week past Monday. I had come home the previous evening from work and he wasn't looking for his dinner as normal and then after going out for a pee, collapsed on the floor, vomiting bile. I called the vet and she said it was either his blood pressure dropping as a side effect of the medication to dilate his urethra, or else is was anaemia due to the cancer. I could have taken him in for IV fluids and/or a blood transfusion, but with his diagnosis, what was the point in that, other than selfishly to keep him a bit longer. I did manage to get him to drink some water with juice from a can of tuna in it and he did perk up somewhat, but not 100%. I took him in the next morning and the vet said the only options were to reduce the dose of the vaso-dilator, or just wait until he stopped peeing. We had already tried weaning his dose down and as he was already slowing down with his peeing having only missed 3 doses of the medication, it was a bleak outlook. He was well enough for me to walk him around the field at the vet's and then we went in and he was euthanized. It was as pleasant and traquil as it could have been, he only got a little scared when they put in the butterfly, then he relaxed and soon drifted off. I sat with his head in my lap for a while and then covered him and left him. Anyway, since then I have been beating myself up for perhaps being too quick. I am totally bereft and LONG to have some more time with him, but what sort of time would it have been for Xander, as I would have been crying at every turn and just waiting for the inevitable to happen. So my head knows I did the right thing, but my heart cries out for him. Perhaps I was a bit quick off the mark, but I just couldn't bear my boy to suffer. When he collapsed the night before it was so pitiful and I just couldn't put him through anything like that again.

JUST MY DOG

He is my other eyes that can see above
the clouds; my other ears that hear above
the winds. He is the part of me that can
reach out into the sea.

He has told me a thousand times over that
I am his reason for being: by the way he
rests against my leg; by the way he thumps
his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he
shows his hurt when I leave without taking him.
(I think it makes him sick with worry when he
is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive.
When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile.
When I am happy, he is joy unbounded.
When I am a fool, he ignores it.
When I succeed, he brags.
Without him, I am only another man. With him,
I am all-powerful.
He is loyalty itself.
He has taught me the meaning of devotion.
With him, I know a secret comfort and a
private peace. He has brought me understanding
where before I was ignorant.
His head on my knee can heal my human hurts.
His presence by my side is protection against
my fears of dark and unknown things.
He has promised to wait for me...
Whenever...wherever--in case I need him.
And I expect I will--as I always have.


He is just my dog.
--- Gene Hill ---



Rest in peace my beloved boy, I miss you so very, very much. I will see you soon, as you perceive time, as I cross the Rainbow Bridge, but for me it will be an eternity. Love you Xand!

Its easy to say,.. but try not to beat yourself up over this,.. you know deep down that your thoughts were with Xander, and you did what was best for a friend, he had problems for a while, and you did your very best to make his life as best you could,.. he has no problems now.

Of course you will miss him,.. just keep thinking of the good times

[Kissy1921]

Viv darling, we have talked about this in length, but i know how you feel. You know i felt the same when i had to have Skye pts, it feels like you are giving up on them and god yes, the guilt, its awful. You always think 'what if' 'did i do it too soon'. I know he was your baby, and your life, but the last thing you did for him to show you that you loved him was the best thing you did, he relied on you for that, and its never easy, totally heartbreaking, but sadly, its part of owning, loving and being respsonible for our four legged friends.

I think of this everytime i get another dog, and try to push it to the back of my mind, but its inevitable, God gives us these creatures to look after, then we have to give them back, but it never seems that we have them for long enough.

My thoughts are with you Viv, loves you hun xxxxxxxxx

chat soon i hope

[joyce]

So sorry Viv, I believe it is one of - if not the hardest decisions we have to make we all feel your pain reading your post - and reliving what you are going through remembering our lost ones also.

[LOVEGSD]

I am so so sorry to hear this, may Xander RIP and you should know that you did the very best for your boy and he knew it.

Sending you lots of love...xx

[sami]

I am so sorry to hear your news It made me cry reading your post.

For waht its worth I think you did the right thing. It is horrible making the decision and sometimes I cant beleive they cant just pass away on their own but life's cruel and they dont. Keeping him going on drips wouldnt have been fair in my opinion and the end wouldnt have been as good as it was for him being able to have a little walk with you and going gently with you there.

[h.bradshaw]

rest in peace Xander,
you where obviously loved so much

[super D]

IM so sorry for your Loss.
Run Free Darling Xander, head for the bridge sweetheart
xx

[GillJWales]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Gillxx

Ive shed tears reading this and Im so sorry for your Loss Hon
Xander RIP And Run over the Rainbow Bridge Pain Free, Sweetheart.
Cimba and they others are waiting to meet you.