Still struggling

[Fi1805]

Isla has settled down fairly well at night, although the past 2 nights she has kicked off between 5am and 6am, which is a bit annoying I get up just after 6 for her anyway! Both times she went straight out for a poo so maybe I need to adjust my routine a bit.

But the thing which really isnt getting any better is leaving her during the day. When I do some training sessions, she screams for a bit when I leave, goes quiet, I come back in - round and round like this we go, and sometimes we can get all the way up to 5mins - although rarely. If I leave her with kongs she is fine for a few minutes, then notices that she is alone and kicks off and ignores the rest of her kong.

I'm going to be putting her in daycare when I go back to work on Monday but this is only meant to be a temporary measure until she is old enough to be left for 3-4 hours at a time whilst me and the OH are at work. I can only afford it for a few weeks really.

The weird thing is, she plays/ sleeps/ eats happily in her crate whilst we are present. And we can leave her by herself in the garden almost indefinitely and she doesnt make a sound. So I don't know what her issue is, whether it is being alone, being in the crate, being indoors - all of the above?

And I dont know whether to carry on with the leaving sessions and keep building it up. A dog trainer told me to throw water over her when she is noisy but I can't bring myself to do that - I don't think it will resolve anything. And my family think I should just leave her to scream it out - they think its just tantrums.

I might try to enlist a trainer to come and do a home visit - not the one who suggested I throw water in her face though. I'm getting desperate...

[Caryll]

Do you have a sheltered area outside where you can put her crate? Maybe she feels trapped in her crate when you're not there?

[Fi1805]

No, the garden is open with no shelter. I wonder if she's just more used to being outside because she was kept with her littermates in an outdoor kennel at the breeders.

I feel like taking her back. She's such a little poppet in every other way but I just can't bear the screaming and I don't know what to do. My Mum thinks that I should take her back.

[Jude]

Personally I think you are expecting too much too soon. Isle has been with you for less than two weeks and is still very much a baby. The fact that she appears to be more settled at night proves that things are going in the right direction. Kira cried at night when we went to bed for three weeks although the duration of the howling gradually got less and less (and she was in a room with two other dogs). The important thing is never to go and let her out while she is making a noise or she will very quickly learn that if she cries you will come back. As far as leaving her during the day is concerned you need to make sure that she regards her crate as a good place to be - give a treat every time she goes in, shut the door for a couple of minutes (maybe with a stuffed puppy kong or safe toy) and ignore her. When she is calm open the door and let her out but do not make a fuss of her - it is very important that you do not immediately fuss/praise her when you re-enter the room at any time or when you let her out of her crate and she will soon learn to accept you coming and going. Any trainer who tells you to throw water on young, unsettled puppy at this stage does not know what they are talking about! You need to build the pup's confidence that it is not the end of the world for it to be left alone for a while rather than scare the s**t out of it!

[Jude]

How old is she? Would your mum send back a baby that cried during the night and when left alone during the day??!

[BusyBee]

I'm so sorry you are finding things difficult, I only have a little experience, but I think maybe you're a little too focused on her, I know it's difficult, but if you can you need to relax a little.

As long as she is safe and can't hurt herself then I would leave her...just leave, the more often you do it the more she will get used to it. She seems to have learned that if she shouts you will come.... Honestly it will stop but you need to be really tough. The fact that she can stay happily in the garden would say to me that she is not too worried about being alone...she just wants what she wants and she knows how to get it

Also make sure the crate is covered, when Sam was very small he prefered the whole crate covered, and settled more quickly.

I hope you can get through this rough patch

Sally & Sam

[LindaM]

So sorry you are still stuggling.

Please don't throw water at her. She is so young and you are her leader and protector. If he was being a pain I might have banged on the cage once and told him 'shut up'.

I didn't train Lukey at a young age.

I more or less got on with life and didn't over fuss him, or train him. I just 'let him be'. He amused himself, got tired and went to sleep.

We took him to puppy socialisation classes and of course at times we played with him and cuddled him but looking back not overly so. There always seemed to be something he found to do, supervised mainly. He got short walks so as not to over excercise him when he was able to (after the 1st jab I think) and he just explored and met people and that tired him out.

When I leave him in his crate now he doesn't have toys or stuffed kongs or anything. He could but he is not interested he will just settle and go to sleep. I feed him at meal times, he gets a dentistick a day and a marrow bone a couple of times a week but I don't used stuffed kongs for entertainment. I don't have anything wrong with a dog 'working for his meal' but I don't feed to keep amused. Others would disagree I am sure. I would have certainly have left him toys in his cage when he was young including toys suitable for chewing on.

I think he is quite a chilled boy (I don't know how different the females are).

He did do 'naughty' stuff like take a lot of bark off my tree and tried to chew the edge of the coffee table but a firm 'no' or 'distraction' was what I used.

I'm sorry I don't think I am a lot of help. I hope some of the others can help more.

As far as needing to toilet at 5 am I would then put her back in crate and get her up at 6 am (or normal time).

I do feel for you but also have to say I never felt like returning Lukey but I was at home all day and could work around him so there was less pressure on me.

When I come in now if he is in his crate or in the kitchen I don't always go and let him out. I might leave him in his crate and make a cup of tea then let him out with a gentle 'hello'. I think what I am saying is that 'seeing his 'mum' doesn't always equate with having access to fuss or attention'.

Sorry if I am confusing you more. Hoping more people come in with ideas for you.

[Fi1805]

Jude - totally agreed re the trainer. The last thing I want to do is add more horrible factors to a pup who is already upset, poor baby. Rest assured, I wouldnt do that. I'm just worried that I am causing her psychological damage with all the distress. She will be 10 weeks on Monday.

BusyBee - I will try covering her crate. Her night-time crate is covered, although not at the front, I didnt know if she'd get claustrophobic! Her daytime crate, which is an adult sized one because I thought it would substitute as a playpen, is not covered. Maybe I could try that.

I don't go to her when she cries, I always make sure that she is quiet. It's just that sometimes it can take an hour before she calms down and I hate what I am doing to her

I've spent a fortune on puppy kongs, hollow bones, chew toys, fluffy toys - she ignores all of them once she realises that nobody else is in the room. I can hide behind the door and peek through a crack so I have seen what she gets up to. The only thing that I havent tried is DAP and that is next on the shopping list, despite mixed opinions on its effectiveness.

[Fi1805]

Hi Linda

I'm just having a down day I think. I don't want to return her, I love her to bits but I am just so worried that I am doing the wrong thing and traumatising her. I just want her to be happy and settled.

I'm going to try and work a day or two from home if work agrees - they are being uncommitted at the moment but I will push for it. She's going into puppy daycare on the days when I am at work but I can't afford that for too long and I'm so stressed thinking that she'll never settle down when she's alone.

[Jon]

I've got an idea... get another one...

seriously though sounds like you are getting there..